I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can't get killed by a blank? Milton Berle blankfillform Change image and share on social
Anytime a person goes into a delicatessen and orders a pastrami on white bread, somewhere a Jew dies. Milton Berle anytimebreaddelicatessen Change image and share on social
I have a file of four million jokes... I have them cross-indexed. Whatever subject you want, I have a joke on it. Milton Berle crossfileindex Change image and share on social
I feel like Zsa Zsa Gabor's sixth husband. I know what I'm supposed to do, but I don't know how to make it interesting. Milton Berle feelgaborhusband Change image and share on social
If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door. Milton Berle builddoorknock Change image and share on social
Like every comedian, if I heard a joke that I thought would work, I used it. Milton Berle comedianhearjoke Change image and share on social
There's a difference between being a comic and a comedian. A comic is a guy who says funny things, and a comedian is a guy who says things funny, and he has a style and point of view that will last much longer. Milton Berle comediancomicdifference share on social
Laughter is an instant vacation. Milton Berle instantlaughtervacation Change image and share on social
If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands? Milton Berle evolutionhandmother Change image and share on social
