People say I owe a lot to television. The fact is I was a star long before television. What TV made me is unemployed. Milton Berle factlonglot Change image and share on social
I have a file of four million jokes... I have them cross-indexed. Whatever subject you want, I have a joke on it. Milton Berle crossfileindex Change image and share on social
If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands? Milton Berle evolutionhandmother Change image and share on social
If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door. Milton Berle builddoorknock Change image and share on social
I feel like Zsa Zsa Gabor's sixth husband. I know what I'm supposed to do, but I don't know how to make it interesting. Milton Berle feelgaborhusband Change image and share on social
Laughter is an instant vacation. Milton Berle instantlaughtervacation Change image and share on social
You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think. Milton Berle congressleadmake Change image and share on social
Money can't buy you happiness, but it helps you look for it in a lot more places. Milton Berle buyhappinesshelp Change image and share on social
Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name. Milton Berle experienceforgethave Change image and share on social
I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can't get killed by a blank? Milton Berle blankfillform Change image and share on social
