I'd rather be a could-be if I cannot be an are; because a could-be is a maybe who is reaching for a star. I'd rather be a has-been than a might-have-been, by far; for a might have-been has never been, but a has was once an are. Milton Berle reachstar share on social
Like every comedian, if I heard a joke that I thought would work, I used it. Milton Berle comedianhearjoke Change image and share on social
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. Milton Berle forgivegoodhusband Change image and share on social
A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours. Milton Berle committeegrouphour Change image and share on social
We owe a lot to Thomas Edison - if it wasn't for him, we'd be watching television by candlelight. Milton Berle candlelightedisonlot Change image and share on social
They've finally comes up with the perfect office computer. If it makes a mistake, it blames another computer. Milton Berle blamecomputerfinally Change image and share on social
There's a difference between being a comic and a comedian. A comic is a guy who says funny things, and a comedian is a guy who says things funny, and he has a style and point of view that will last much longer. Milton Berle comediancomicdifference share on social
My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. Milton Berle adddoctorfeel Change image and share on social
I received a lot of complaints from parents who wrote and told me that their kids wouldn't go to sleep until our show was over. So I went on the air and told all the children watching to 'listen to their Uncle Miltie and go to bed right after the show.' Milton Berle airbedchild share on social
