Michael Ian Black

If you get an idea, you might as well stick with it until somebody calls you on it.

I have a good family and I like to be home with them. The older I get, the lazier I get, and the more content I am to sit at home and eat string cheese.

Wish I could, through my own financial prestidigitation, transform a dollar bill into two, or two million. It is an awesome and mysterious skill.

Everything you do on set is directly related to your imagination when you read the script for the first time.

I just hate sitting and writing - I had to do that in school. Plus, I have terrible handwriting.

Jokes are very curious things psychologically.