Kinky Friedman

Remember: Y'all is singular. All y'all is plural. All y'all's is plural possessive.

You have to pretend that your life is a financial pleasure even when your autographs are bouncing.

Well, I just said that Jesus and I were both Jewish and that neither of us ever had a job, we never had a home, we never married and we traveled around the countryside irritating people.

Well, I actually wrote her a letter a couple of days ago congratulating her. The tone I tried to convey in the letter is, look, you are a part of a great American historical process.

Another thing that freaks me out is time. Time is like a book. You have a beginning, a middle and an end. It's just a cycle.

I will either be famous or infamous.