Kinky Friedman

Remember: Y'all is singular. All y'all is plural. All y'all's is plural possessive.

You have to pretend that your life is a financial pleasure even when your autographs are bouncing.

Well, I just said that Jesus and I were both Jewish and that neither of us ever had a job, we never had a home, we never married and we traveled around the countryside irritating people.

I strongly believe that the Legislature should not be interfering in private medical decisions.

I thank Marc Jacobs so much for giving me the opportunity to design a shoe for Louis Vuitton, but the thing that broke my heart most was when they said, 'You're finished. The shoe's finished.'

We define ourselves as intelligent. That's odd, because we're doing the definition - We're creating our own definition and saying, 'We are intelligent!'