Whenever someone asks me if I want water with my Scotch, I say I'm thirsty, not dirty. Joe E. Lewis askdirtyscotch Change image and share on social
You are only young once, and if you work it right, once is enough. Joe E. Lewis workyoung Change image and share on social
I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. Joe E. Lewis dietdoctoreat Change image and share on social
A man is never drunk if he can lay on the floor without holding on. Joe E. Lewis drinkfloorhold Change image and share on social
It doesn't matter whether you are rich or poor - as long as you've got money. Joe E. Lewis havelongmatter Change image and share on social
Show me a man with both feet on the ground and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants on. Joe E. Lewis footgrindman Change image and share on social
I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink. Joe E. Lewis cameldistrustdrink Change image and share on social
If you want to make a dangerous man your friend, let him do you a favor. Joe E. Lewis dangerousfavorfriend Change image and share on social
The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love. Joe E. Lewis lovemarrytaxis Change image and share on social
It pays to get drunk with the best people. Joe E. Lewis drinkpaypeople Change image and share on social
