Top 30 Quotes by Jim Gaffigan

About Jim Gaffigan

These are some quotes by American author Jim Gaffigan Comedian, who was born on July 7, 1966.

I worked on 'USA Today' as a topic for while. I tried to do something on hand chairs, chairs that look like hands. I really tried. But some topics are not truly universal.

I worked on 'USA Today' as a topic for while. I tried to do something on hand chairs, chairs that look like hands. I really tried. But some topics are not truly universal.

Jim Gaffigan

No one goes into standup to make money. The frustration and rejection are just too much.

No one goes into standup to make money. The frustration and rejection are just too much.

Jim Gaffigan

I've always wanted to be an actor. I've never planned on the acting and the stand-up feeding each other; they've always been separate desires.

I've always wanted to be an actor. I've never planned on the acting and the stand-up feeding each other; they've always been separate desires.

Jim Gaffigan

Comics write to their point of view. If you're an exceedingly irreverent comedian, you've got to see where that point of view fits or produces the most funny.

Comics write to their point of view. If you're an exceedingly irreverent comedian, you've got to see where that point of view fits or produces the most funny.

Jim Gaffigan

Why would a lazy guy become a parent of five? Then again, why would creative people who inherently don't like change and criticism become writers, actors, or comedians? There's something about this process. I joke about it: My kids have made me a better person, and I only need, like, 34 more of them to be a really good guy.

Jim Gaffigan

All I want to do is be a good dad, but I'm pretty bad at it.

All I want to do is be a good dad, but I'm pretty bad at it.

Jim Gaffigan

When people look and decide they have nothing in common with me - I'm 43, balding, blond, whatever - there's something absolutely invigorating about winning them over. Even if it's eight people from Sweden who don't understand what I'm talking about.

Jim Gaffigan

I would say some of the food I talk about that I really enjoy, like cake and bacon, I eat a lot less than I portray in my act. But that stuff that I dislike, it's pretty sincere.

I would say some of the food I talk about that I really enjoy, like cake and bacon, I eat a lot less than I portray in my act. But that stuff that I dislike, it's pretty sincere.

Jim Gaffigan

I'm an eccentric, silly, observational guy, but I'm not gonna frighten off social conservatives.

I'm an eccentric, silly, observational guy, but I'm not gonna frighten off social conservatives.

Jim Gaffigan

I'm from Indiana. I know what you're thinking, Indiana... Mafia. But in Indiana it's not like New York where everyone's like, 'We're from New York and we're the best' or 'We're from Texas and we like things big' it's more like 'We're from Indiana and we're gonna move.'

Jim Gaffigan

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