Top 53 Quotes by Jenny Eclair

I'm very jealous of my daughter's education. She's been inspired by her teachers, and nobody inspired me as a teenager.

I can't tan naturally.

Women are more emotional, and it's natural to talk about it.

People often ask why comedy is harder for women, and the reason is because a tampon will sometimes fall out when you're on stage. Blokes don't have that worry.

I might be needy, competitive and desperate but it's far better than being wet.

I was trained as an actress. But I wasn't a very convincing actress, so I started doing punk poetry and then fell into doing stand-up.

I can't watch other people doing comedy. As soon as somebody starts being funny I have to turn off because it upsets me. I get comedy indigestion. I just hate anybody else being funny. That's my job.

As a rule, wearing a bigger pair of jeans looks better than squishing yourself into a pair of jeans that used to fit before you gave up smoking.

I am best viewed from a distance... and at night.

I can't sing.