Top 53 Quotes by Jenny Eclair

Well, I'm not good with sliminess. I hate the thought of creatures that have slime on them or creatures that leave a slimy trail. At home, the sight of a slug can bring up my breakfast.

I've just got crap hair. Although I inherited a lot of stuff from my dad, including giant knees, I didn't get his good, thick hair. I got my mother's thin, wispy, non-event hair instead.

If I do go to the beach there have to be certain rules: it can't be a pebbly beach, there has to be some shade and there has to be a beach bar. I don't want to go off the beaten track.

I'm very jealous of my daughter's education. She's been inspired by her teachers, and nobody inspired me as a teenager.

I can't tan naturally.

Women are more emotional, and it's natural to talk about it.

I might be needy, competitive and desperate but it's far better than being wet.

I was trained as an actress. But I wasn't a very convincing actress, so I started doing punk poetry and then fell into doing stand-up.

As a rule, wearing a bigger pair of jeans looks better than squishing yourself into a pair of jeans that used to fit before you gave up smoking.

My older sister is bossy, my brother is a stirrer and me - well, I am perfect!