Politics is just show business for ugly people. Jay Leno businesspeoplepolitic Change image and share on social
For the first time ever, overweight people outnumber average people in America. Doesn't that make overweight the average then? Last month you were fat, now you're average - hey, let's get a pizza! Jay Leno americaaveragefat Change image and share on social
The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver. Jay Leno designatedriverreason Change image and share on social
More coming out about Saddam Hussein. We now know he takes Viagra and he has as many as six mistresses. No wonder Congress is reluctant to take action against this guy - he's one of their own. Jay Leno actioncomecongress Change image and share on social
Now, today is the day we honor, of course, the Presidents, ranging from George Washington, who couldn't tell a lie, to George Bush, who couldn't tell the truth, to Bill Clinton, who couldn't tell the difference. Jay Leno billbushclinton share on social
Major league baseball has asked its players to stop tossing baseballs into the stands during games, because they say fans fight over them and they get hurt. In fact, the Florida Marlins said that's why they never hit any home runs. It's a safety issue. Jay Leno askbaseballfact share on social
You can't stay mad at somebody who makes you laugh. Jay Leno laughmadmake Change image and share on social
Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'? Jay Leno headlinelotterypsychic Change image and share on social
Today is Valentine's Day - or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day! Jay Leno calldayextortion Change image and share on social
According to New York publishers, Bill Clinton will get more money for his book than Hillary Clinton got for hers. Well, duh. At least his book has some sex in it. Jay Leno billbookclinton Change image and share on social
