Jay Leno

Today is Valentine's Day - or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day!

Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

If God doesn't destroy Hollywood Boulevard, he owes Sodom and Gomorrah an apology.

A teacher must believe in the value and interest of his subject as a doctor believes in health.

It is hardly surprising that women concentrate on the way they look instead of what is in their minds since not much has been put in their minds to begin with.

Democrats were quick to point out that President Bush's budget creates a 1 trillion dollar deficit. The White House quickly responded with 'Hey, look over there, it's Saddam Hussein.'