Henny Youngman

My dad was the town drunk. Most of the time that's not so bad; but New York City?

My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.

Those two are a fastidious couple. She's fast and he's hideous.

Before I die, I will preach to the Muslims in the Arab world. I will preach in Egypt, Lebanon, Syria and Iran. I will preach in Tehran. I will do it under the umbrella of God. And see its impact.

I live in a Swiss village so small, if you sneeze everyone knows.