George Carlin

Electricity is really just organized lightning.

I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood.

Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.

As a writer, I try to do different things, but I'm not going to become a darker artist or turn into Radiohead overnight. I don't think that's my style.

And this is one way to do technology forecasting; get a sense of where technology is, and then anticipate the next upturn.

For me to be here tonight, everything had to be perfect. I had to get drafted by Utah, had to play with a point guard like John Stockton, and had to be coached by Jerry Sloan and Frank Layden.