George Burns

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.

I can't afford to die; I'd lose too much money.

I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.

People say if you're doing an art project, that's different from a book, but I honestly don't see it. I try and try, and I just don't.

I hate the bad rap that people give my parents. Because they are just parents, really, at the end of the day trying to stand up for their daughter and themselves.

It's a terrifying thing to be perhaps 16 or 17 and feel like you are a failure and a has-been.