Garrison Keillor

Humor has to surprise us; otherwise, it isn't funny. It's a death knell for a writer to be labeled a humorist because then it's not a surprise anymore.

It's a shallow life that doesn't give a person a few scars.

They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.

I'm not a morning person: I can't function until I've had a coffee - or several.

I've always been very determined, ever since I was a little girl, to make my way.

I don't like labels. I think they conceal more than they reveal, sort of like a bikini.