I think the most un-American thing you can say is, 'You can't say that.' Garrison Keillor americanthing Change image and share on social
A girl in a bikini is like having a loaded pistol on your coffee table - There's nothing wrong with them, but it's hard to stop thinking about it. Garrison Keillor bikinicoffeegirl Change image and share on social
I hear a little firecracker go off when you come up with a good rhyme. Garrison Keillor firecrackergoodhear Change image and share on social
Thank you, God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough. Garrison Keillor forgivegodgood Change image and share on social
The reason to retire is to try to avoid embarrassment; you ought to do it before people are dropping big hints. You want to be the first to come up with the idea. You don't want to wait until you trip and fall off the stage. Garrison Keillor avoidbigdrop share on social
I love rhymes; I love to write a poem about New York and rhyme 'oysters' with 'The Cloisters.' And 'The lady from Knoxville who bought her brassieres by the boxful.' I just feel a sort of small triumph. Garrison Keillor boxfulbrassierebuy share on social
Sometimes you have to look reality in the eye, and deny it. Garrison Keillor denyeyereality Change image and share on social
A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. Garrison Keillor christmascompulsorylovely Change image and share on social
It was luxuries like air conditioning that brought down the Roman Empire. With air conditioning their windows were shut, they couldn't hear the barbarians coming. Garrison Keillor airbarbarianbring Change image and share on social
The funniest line in English is 'Get it?' When you say that, everyone chortles. Garrison Keillor chortleenglishfunny Change image and share on social
