Top 451 Funny Quotes

The way I write is totally instinctive. I just write what I feel or what I find funny - and hope everyone else agrees.

The way I write is totally instinctive. I just write what I feel or what I find funny - and hope everyone else agrees.

Sophie Kinsella

I adore the company of other writers because they are so often lively minds and, frequently, blazingly funny. And of course, we get each other in a unique way.

I adore the company of other writers because they are so often lively minds and, frequently, blazingly funny. And of course, we get each other in a unique way.

Scott Turow

Defy your own group. Rebel against yourself.

Defy your own group. Rebel against yourself.

Cathy Guisewite

If you're sick, watch funny movies.

If you're sick, watch funny movies.

Mandy Patinkin

I'm not funny in person. I mean I'm really not. I'm one of those people who always screw up anecdotes.

I'm not funny in person. I mean I'm really not. I'm one of those people who always screw up anecdotes.

Bill Bryson

It's funny how we 'do' Christmas. Christmas is not something that we do, it is something that was done. It celebrates the long awaited arrival of the Messiah, Jesus Christ. We had nothing to do with it, but what we can do is praise God for the coming of the Lord, who washed away the sins of the world by dying on the cross.

Monica Johnson

Success is always less funny than failure.

Success is always less funny than failure.

Jon Ronson

Some of those more out-there jokes were written in the wee hours of the morning. Somehow, they remained funny the next day.

Some of those more out-there jokes were written in the wee hours of the morning. Somehow, they remained funny the next day.

Seth MacFarlane

In real life, comedians aren't funny.

In real life, comedians aren't funny.

Michael Showalter

I didn't have the equipment for the regular world of being a lawyer. I didn't have the imagination for that. I did have a funny kind of ambition, but I didn't know where to put it.

I didn't have the equipment for the regular world of being a lawyer. I didn't have the imagination for that. I did have a funny kind of ambition, but I didn't know where to put it.

Michael Lindsay-Hogg

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