I'm thankful for the three ounce Ziploc bag, so that I have somewhere to put my savings. Paula Poundstone bagounceput Change image and share on social
Comedy is still alive, and there are still funny people. Jews are still overrepresented in comedy and psychiatry and underrepresented in the priesthood. That immigrant Jewish humor is still with us. Robert Klein alivecomedyfunny Change image and share on social
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company. Mark Twain climatecompanyheaven Change image and share on social
'Married with Children' was racy. It was sexist. It was a lot of things, but mostly it was funny. Katey Sagal childfunnylot Change image and share on social
I don't follow anything blindly. I have to know the entire thing, if I have to get in to it. It might sound funny to you, but it's like using English language. I use an English word only when I know its meaning and understand its connotation. You won't hear me say, 'What's up, dude' or anything like that just for the heck of it. Kailash Kher blindlyconnotationdude share on social
It's funny to think that when you get done with an acting job, you're considered unemployed. There are definitely times when those checks don't last forever. I went to college at a private school, and I racked up quite a bit of debt. I was very slow to pay them back. Rami Malek actbackbite share on social
Fencing is a funny sport. Competitive fencing is not really very applicable to the stage world unless you're fighting with a rapier during the Renaissance, you know? Kris Holden-Ried applicablecompetitivefence Change image and share on social
I've been invited to appear on Letterman, but they wanted me to talk about a funny videotape of Congress. 'Bring us your outtakes!' That's not our job. Brian Lamb bringcongressfunny Change image and share on social
Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh. George Bernard Shaw ceasediefunny Change image and share on social
Do you want me to apologize after every joke? If it doesn't offend somebody it's probably not a joke. It's probably an observation that's not funny. It's gotta offend somebody somewhere. Jeff Ross apologizefunnygotta Change image and share on social