Top 451 Funny Quotes

Working with Julie Andrews is like getting hit over the head with a valentine.

Working with Julie Andrews is like getting hit over the head with a valentine.

Christopher Plummer

I'm attracted to women who are smart and funny and ambitious and have lives of their own and great families. Isn't that what attracts anyone?

I'm attracted to women who are smart and funny and ambitious and have lives of their own and great families. Isn't that what attracts anyone?

Tom Brady

I always thought it would be funny to have the Parents Television Council write an episode of 'Family Guy' and give them full creative control. Then see how good the episode is. That's something we've actually discussed in the writers' room. We haven't proposed it yet, but if somebody from the PTC reads this, it might be worth discussing.

Seth MacFarlane

You're only as good as your last haircut.

You're only as good as your last haircut.

Fran Lebowitz

I've dated some women who have turned me on to some funny things that are strange for men to actually do, but these things have become part of my process. I think the things I do for my appearance help make me look better. I even colour my hair because I like how it makes me look.

Ryan Seacrest

No, no, I was only funny on stage, really. I, I, think I was funny as a person toward my classmates when I was very young. You know, when I was a child, up to about the age of 12.

No, no, I was only funny on stage, really. I, I, think I was funny as a person toward my classmates when I was very young. You know, when I was a child, up to about the age of 12.

Rowan Atkinson

I remember interviewing someone I actually felt bad for, and therefore didn't want to take an ironic stance against him. It actually turned out to be a really funny piece.

I remember interviewing someone I actually felt bad for, and therefore didn't want to take an ironic stance against him. It actually turned out to be a really funny piece.

Rob Corddry

You're unlikely to discover something new without a lot of practice on old stuff, but further, you should get a heck of a lot of fun out of working out funny relations and interesting things.

You're unlikely to discover something new without a lot of practice on old stuff, but further, you should get a heck of a lot of fun out of working out funny relations and interesting things.

Richard P. Feynman

I do know this: When somebody has to look great on the screen, that's the death of funny.

I do know this: When somebody has to look great on the screen, that's the death of funny.

Peter Farrelly

I guess I'm pleased and proud of the respect of my peers, and that when I disappear from the scene or from this earth, I will have left a mark. They'll say, 'He did it well.' I like being funny; it opens people up.

Robert Klein

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