Top 451 Funny Quotes

One of the funny things of being a producer, you have these fleeting, intense relationships with people, and they go off to global megastardom, and you don't see them.

One of the funny things of being a producer, you have these fleeting, intense relationships with people, and they go off to global megastardom, and you don't see them.

Paul Epworth

When I was young, I'd watch guys on 'The Tonight Show', Buddy Hackett, guys like that, where all they'd be is funny. Later, I remember, on 'Late Night with Letterman', I remember he'd have Jay Leno and Richard Lewis as first guests and the entire point was to entertain and be funny, and I think talk shows have kind of lost that.

Norm MacDonald

I am certain there is too much certainty in the world.

I am certain there is too much certainty in the world.

Michael Crichton

The parrot's so funny. He imitates me and I don't even realize he's doing it. I'm walking around the house talking to myself and whistling and the next day he's said something I've said... it's scary you know?

Mick Ralphs

I have a funny relationship with religion. I'm a big believer in ritualistic behavior as long as it doesn't hurt anybody. But I'm not a big fan of rules. And yet, we cannot live in a world without order.

Madonna Ciccone

Sometimes I think what I write is funny in its quiet way.

Sometimes I think what I write is funny in its quiet way.

Doris Lessing

When I was a kid, I never did funny things to get attention. I was never a funny person. I was never, like, 'Oh, wow. I could say this some day on stage.'

When I was a kid, I never did funny things to get attention. I was never a funny person. I was never, like, 'Oh, wow. I could say this some day on stage.'

Steven Wright

My whole family can talk. They are all car salesmen. They are all funny.

My whole family can talk. They are all car salesmen. They are all funny.

P. J. O'Rourke

As I get older, all sorts of things become less funny. Once one has children, any cruelty involving children becomes far less amusing than when one was at the mercy of one's friends' and relatives' children.

P. J. O'Rourke

Don't send funny greeting cards on birthdays or at Christmas. Save them for funerals, when their cheery effect is needed.

Don't send funny greeting cards on birthdays or at Christmas. Save them for funerals, when their cheery effect is needed.

P. J. O'Rourke

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