Top 451 Funny Quotes

When God sneezed, I didn't know what to say.

When God sneezed, I didn't know what to say.

Henny Youngman

Now the point of comedy is not just looking funny, it's use of language. We have at our disposal a great language... and the imaginative, creative use of that language can be at the service of humour.

Now the point of comedy is not just looking funny, it's use of language. We have at our disposal a great language... and the imaginative, creative use of that language can be at the service of humour.

Barry Humphries

It took forever for me to get work because I was a political comic, and now it's become good business, and God knows how long that'll last. You have to do it night after night after night to kind of make it. I still find myself on 'Piers Morgan' or on some show and I think, 'I hope this is funny.'

Lewis Black

Bigots are actually funny to me in the way that people who still wear parachute pants give me a chuckle.

Bigots are actually funny to me in the way that people who still wear parachute pants give me a chuckle.

John Ridley

My grandmother raised me. She was a real no-nonsense but very funny lady. I drove tractors, made hay, milked cows, fed the chicken, fed the pigs.

My grandmother raised me. She was a real no-nonsense but very funny lady. I drove tractors, made hay, milked cows, fed the chicken, fed the pigs.

Carol Bartz

British politics, as the world knows, is a joke. Yet it's rarely funny.

British politics, as the world knows, is a joke. Yet it's rarely funny.

Morrissey

If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.

If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.

George Bernard Shaw

There's a great power in words, if you don't hitch too many of them together.

There's a great power in words, if you don't hitch too many of them together.

Josh Billings

But if something funny happens, I can't resist. I have to tell the people.

But if something funny happens, I can't resist. I have to tell the people.

Kathy Griffin

When you don't have a laugh track, you can make the clothes funny. We can make a sign funny. We can make the way somebody walks funny. The makeup can be funny.

When you don't have a laugh track, you can make the clothes funny. We can make a sign funny. We can make the way somebody walks funny. The makeup can be funny.

Mitchell Hurwitz

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