Top 54 Quotes by Fran Lebowitz

Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine.

There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness or death. Any attempt to prove otherwise constitutes unacceptable behavior.

I never took hallucinogenic drugs because I never wanted my consciousness expanded one unnecessary iota.

You can't go around hoping that most people have sterling moral characters. The most you can hope for is that people will pretend that they do.

Food is an important part of a balanced diet.

Your life story would not make a good book. Don't even try.

Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.

Don't bother discussing sex with small children. They rarely have anything to add.

Remember that as a teenager you are in the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear the phone is for you.

If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words.