Top 54 Quotes by Fran Lebowitz

I figure you have the same chance of winning the lottery whether you play or not.

Nature is by and large to be found out of doors, a location where, it cannot be argued, there are never enough comfortable chairs.

There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness or death. Any attempt to prove otherwise constitutes unacceptable behavior.

Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women, it is simply a good excuse not to play football.

As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.

I never took hallucinogenic drugs because I never wanted my consciousness expanded one unnecessary iota.

Original thought is like original sin: both happened before you were born to people you could not have possibly met.

Food is an important part of a balanced diet.

Your life story would not make a good book. Don't even try.

If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words.