Top 105 Quotes by Don Rickles

I told jokes badly.

The young comedians always ask me, 'What's the secret for staying around?' I tell them, 'There is no secret - just stay around. Longevity is the most important thing.'

Ninety percent of the people who come to see me are my fans.

Everything I've ever done in my whole career, people might not know, I've never written anything down on paper.

When I walk down the street in New York, I swear to God, the building constructor, the guy pounding cement and what not, will yell, 'Hey, you hockey puck!'

I always say, when you're onstage you can't please everybody. I'm sure there are people who may not take to what I do, but that's okay. Thank God the majority are in my corner.

I couldn't sell air conditioners on a 98-degree day. When I demonstrated them in a showroom, I pushed the wrong button and blew the circuit.

No matter where you go in this world, you will always find a Jew sitting in the beach chair next to you.

Yeah, I make fun of blacks, and why not? I'm not a black.

Johnny Carson was a big influence on me - all of those shows I did with him over the years, like, 100 of them, they made a bit of a name for me at the time, so that part of my life was very good.