When I was young, I used to expect Parisians to wear little black berets, to bicycle about with strings of onions around their necks, and to brandish long sticks of bread, just like they used to do in school textbooks. Craig Brown beretbicycleblack share on social
Andrew Lloyd Webber is one of those odd moth-like creatures who seem to combine extreme discomfort with the spotlight with an unstoppable compulsion to leap into it. Craig Brown andrewcombinecompulsion Change image and share on social
The best critics do not worry about what the author might think. That would be like a detective worrying about what a suspect might think. Instead, they treat the reader as an intelligent friend, and describe the book as honestly, and as entertainingly, as possible. Craig Brown authorbookcritic share on social
More and more, I find that the news reads like a particularly random game of Consequences. Craig Brown consequencefindgame Change image and share on social
In real life, nothing would be more tedious than trailing around after two strangers as they went house-hunting in Hertfordshire. But for some reason, television is more compelling than real life. Craig Brown compelhertfordshirehouse Change image and share on social
When cars honk and hoot and drunks squeeze out of car windows and scream, you can be sure that football is in the air. Craig Brown aircardrunk Change image and share on social
Tweeting is the go-to medium for the show-off and the shyster. Craig Brown mediumshowshyster Change image and share on social
Looking back, some of the happiest moments of my childhood were spent with my arm in packets of breakfast cereal, rootling around for a free gift. Craig Brown armbackbreakfast Change image and share on social
In its heyday, the blazer had come to symbolise a kind of conventional decency. Yacht club commodores and school bursars wore blazers. People who played bowls wore blazers. Craig Brown blazerbowlbursar Change image and share on social
It is hard being a football loather, a football unfan. I sometimes feel as lonely as the sole survivor in the last reel of a Zombie film, as, one by one, old friends reveal themselves, with their glassy stares and outstretched arms, to have succumbed to the lure. Craig Brown armfeelfilm share on social
