Some people see life as a game of chess, while others prefer to see it as a game of cricket; but the longer I live, the more I think of it as a game of Consequences. Craig Brown chessconsequencecricket Change image and share on social
Like the periwig and the bowler hat, the plus-four and the bow-tie, the blazer is on the way out, and those who persist in wearing it do so with a smattering of self-consciousness, a touch of obstinacy, even a pinch of camp. Craig Brown blazerbowbowler share on social
For some reason, it is always thrilling to spot your home town in the news. Craig Brown homenewsreason Change image and share on social
Everyone must know by now that the aim of Scrabble is to gain the moral high ground, the loser being the first player to slam the board shut and upset all the letters over the floor. Craig Brown aimboardfloor Change image and share on social
More often than not, theatre critics bubble with enthusiasm about plays that are, when all is said and done, really pretty average. Craig Brown averagebubblecritic Change image and share on social
It is hard being a football loather, a football unfan. I sometimes feel as lonely as the sole survivor in the last reel of a Zombie film, as, one by one, old friends reveal themselves, with their glassy stares and outstretched arms, to have succumbed to the lure. Craig Brown armfeelfilm share on social
Historians are the consummate hairdressers of the literary world: cooing in public, catty in private. Craig Brown cattyconsummatecoo Change image and share on social
In real life, nothing would be more tedious than trailing around after two strangers as they went house-hunting in Hertfordshire. But for some reason, television is more compelling than real life. Craig Brown compelhertfordshirehouse Change image and share on social
As life goes on, we accrue more and more loseable objects. Providence dictates that objects that are too large to lose, such as houses, always come with tiny little keys, specially designed to give you the slip. Craig Brown accruedesigndictate share on social
As a rough rule of thumb, I would say the smaller the pond, the more belligerent the fish. Craig Brown belligerentfishpond Change image and share on social