The Canadian government continues to say they will not help us if we go to war with Iraq. However, the prime minister of Canada said he'd like to help, but he's pretty sure that last time he checked, Canada had no army. Conan O'Brien armycanadacanadian share on social
Earlier today, Arnold Schwarzenegger criticized the California school system, calling it disastrous. Arnold says California's schools are so bad that its graduates are willing to vote for me. Conan O'Brien arnoldbadcalifornia Change image and share on social
Every comedian dreams of hosting 'The Tonight Show' and, for seven months, I got to. I did it my way, with people I love, and I do not regret a second. Conan O'Brien comediandreamhost Change image and share on social
The nightmare is you spend the rest of your life being funny at parties and then people say, 'Why didn't you do that when you were on television?' Conan O'Brien funnylifenightmare Change image and share on social
The beauty is that through disappointment you can gain clarity, and with clarity comes conviction and true originality. Conan O'Brien beautyclarityconviction Change image and share on social
In New York, we had primary elections for mayor. To improve their chances, all five candidates changed their name to Rudy Giuliani. Conan O'Brien candidatechancechange Change image and share on social
A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: 'Duh.' Conan O'Brien authorduhman Change image and share on social
President Bush left for Canada today to attend a trade summit. Reportedly, the trade summit got off to an awkward start when the president pulled out his baseball cards. Conan O'Brien attendawkwardbaseball Change image and share on social
CBS news anchor Dan Rather has interviewed Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein. When asked what it was like to talk to a crazy man, Saddam said, 'It's not so bad.' Conan O'Brien anchoraskbad Change image and share on social
