Christopher Morley

The real purpose of books is to trap the mind into doing its own thinking.

There is only one rule for being a good talker - learn to listen.

When you sell a man a book, you don't sell him 12 ounces of paper and ink and glue - you sell him a whole new life.

I was depressed as a child. I found it hard to make friends. My favourite thing was locking myself in the bathroom and practising comedy routines.

Recently, I was in Bernalda, my dad's ancestral home town in Italy. He has just refurbished a palazzo and turned it into a hotel, so we had my sister's wedding there. It was beautiful.

You can always tell you're in deep trouble when people start thinking money's real.