Amy Schumer

I think of myself as a fairly attractive girl and always have, thanks to my mom. I was brought into this world thinking I was gorgeous because my mother was extremely devoted to this notion.

I think you can go from being not very funny to working really hard for 10 years and figuring out how to make a living on the road, but I don't think you can rise much above that.

I'll never forget the day I realized I wasn't quite the Ford model I thought I was.

I think Chelsea Handler is the funniest woman.

I laugh at absurdity hardest, then stories, then observations, then bearded men on roller skates.

The worst headline is one that contains a factual error. Bad headlines are ones that are bland, and don't tell the reader anything specific, like 'Democrats at it Again.'