You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet. Alan King branfifteenlive Change image and share on social
A summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to kill us, we won, let's eat! Alan King eatholidayjewish Change image and share on social
My mother's sister was killed in a trolley car accident, so I was raised as one of eight with my sister and six male cousins. Alan King accidentcarcousin Change image and share on social
Ed Sullivan brought me to TV first in 1952, then Garry Moore's program gave me a lot of confidence and freedom. Alan King bringconfidencefreedom Change image and share on social
Everything my mother made had to cook for 80 hours, and when she made matzoh balls she didn't know fluffy. Everything sank. Alan King ballcookfluffy Change image and share on social
If you stop and think about it, nearly all great humor is at the expense of someone or something. Alan King expensegreathumor Change image and share on social
I'm only... I'm only unhappy when the reviews are bad, but give me a good review and I'm a... I'm just screaming all over the place with joy. Alan King badgivegood Change image and share on social
My father was a dreamer - my hero. He was a smart, tough guy from Poland, a cutter of lady's handbags, an old socialist-unionist who always considered himself a failure. His big line was: 'Don't end up like me.' Alan King bigconsidercutter share on social
Let's face it: It's difficult enough to be funny without worrying about what is going to offend whom. Alan King difficultfacefunny Change image and share on social