Zach Galifianakis

There was a long time where I was an 'artist' in quotes, who had no money. But I guess back then I also never had a girlfriend.

My dad doesn't get any of my jokes. He laughs at them, but he doesn't understand them. He's just laughing because people around him are laughing.

My real last name is Galifianakisburg.

It's good to like yourself, and that only comes from hard work, from doing. But vanity is dangerous; it can trip you badly.

Shaft was a pop culture figure along t he lines of, I guess, Dirty Harry - except that he wasn't as much of a racist. So yeah, I was always a fan.

A free life cannot acquire many possessions, because this is not easy to do without servility to mobs or monarchs.