Zach Galifianakis

There was a long time where I was an 'artist' in quotes, who had no money. But I guess back then I also never had a girlfriend.

My real last name is Galifianakisburg.

I think if they put a laugh track on 'Intervention,' it would be funny.

I always dreamed of writing in an orchestral context. But when you finish a piece, you want to hear it. So we played everything with Phish.

Shaft was a pop culture figure along t he lines of, I guess, Dirty Harry - except that he wasn't as much of a racist. So yeah, I was always a fan.

It's true - women want the fantasy. So give them romance - but without the desperation, wondering, and waiting you see in the movies.