Steven Wright

Someone asked me, if I were stranded on a desert island what book would I bring... 'How to Build a Boat.'

I bought some instant water one time but I didn't know what to add to it.

If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.

I do a lot of research on the placebo effect, not just in depression but in irritable bowel syndrome, pain, arthritis of the knee, migraine, asthma.

I'm addicted to a really tough workout. I like to be drenched in sweat when I'm done because I feel accomplished.