I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed-reading accident. I hit a bookmark. Download Download Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Rotate quotes accident bookmark hit
Someone asked me, if I were stranded on a desert island what book would I bring... 'How to Build a Boat.' Steven Wright askboatbook Change image and share on social
I bought some instant water one time but I didn't know what to add to it. Steven Wright addbuyinstant Change image and share on social
Sometimes I wish my first word was 'quote,' so that on my death bed, my last words could be 'end quote.' Steven Wright beddeathend Change image and share on social
Why pay a dollar for a bookmark? Why not use the dollar for a bookmark? Steven Spielberg bookmarkdollarpay Change image and share on social
What a piece of garbage this smart car is. There's a commercial - the smart car has zero percent interest for six years. Well, good, I got zero percent in six years in buying this smart car. I'll tell you that much. I mean, it's ridiculous. My buddy has a smart car, totaled it. He hit a deer tick. Larry the Cable Guy buddybuycar share on social
Nine years after I had my own accident, I find that in trying to go back to doing those things that I used to do just doesn't fit. Everything seems to just fall apart. I don't know why but I think it is because I am this new creature. Ben Vereen accidentbackcreature share on social