Steven Wright

Someone asked me, if I were stranded on a desert island what book would I bring... 'How to Build a Boat.'

I bought some instant water one time but I didn't know what to add to it.

If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.

I am thrilled to get the chance to write comics - and to tell Forgotten Realms tales, to boot!

Some politicians that I've seen have been brilliant with the public. They almost speak with the skill of an actor.

I would go bold: you don't have to be a member of Congress to be the speaker of the House. I would support someone like Dr. Carson or somebody like that; I think that would be good.