Dinosaurs did not walk with humans. The evolutionary record says different. They gambled. Steve Martin dinosaurevolutionarygamble Change image and share on social
I actually credit Twitter with fine-tuning some joke-writing skills. I still feel like I'm working at it. Steve Martin creditfeelfine Change image and share on social
There's a lot of thought in art. People get to talk about important things. There's a lot of sex, you know, in art. There's a lot of naked women and men, and there's intrigue, there's fakery. It's a real microcosm of the larger world. Steve Martin artfakeryimportant share on social
Well, today the Grammys is much much better than the Oscars. I think the differences in the shows are that the Grammys are much wilder. The Oscars is much more people in the industry. And people dress wilder, I think, at the Grammys. Steve Martin differencedressgrammy share on social
With comedy, you have no place to go but more comedy, so you're never off the hook. Steve Martin comedyhookplace Change image and share on social
I don't think anyone is ever writing so that you can throw it away. You're always writing it to be something. Later, you decide whether it'll ever see the light of day. But at the moment of its writing, it's always meant to be something. So, to me, there's no practicing; there's only editing and publishing or not publishing. Steve Martin daydecideedit share on social
I first thought maybe I'd do a banjo presentation record, where I'd play a couple of songs and get a bunch of other players to do the rest. Then I realized I had enough of my own songs to do an album of them. Steve Martin albumbanjobunch share on social
I got a flue shot and now my chimney works perfectly. Steve Martin chimneyflueperfectly Change image and share on social
I'm for the Wall Street Occupiers. But will they accept me when they find out I sell packaged mortgage default instruments to children? Steve Martin acceptchilddefault Change image and share on social
When I finally retire, I just want to go away so no one has to listen to me. Steve Martin finallylistenretire Change image and share on social