Roseanne Barr

The quickest way to a man's heart is through his chest.

As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, then hey, I've done my job.

I'm enjoying my life, post-menopause, so much. It's just so great to grow into yourself, and not be bothered with all that tyranny of biology.

I think Chelsea Handler is the funniest woman.

Recently, I was in Bernalda, my dad's ancestral home town in Italy. He has just refurbished a palazzo and turned it into a hotel, so we had my sister's wedding there. It was beautiful.

You probably found 'How to Survive a Robot Uprising' in the humor section. Let's just hope that is where it belongs.