Ray Romano

Whenever I walk off the golf course, I thank God that I'm able to tell a joke. I thank God I'm good at something.

In school, I wasn't a very good student - I was very irresponsible and never did the studying but always liked to get the laugh.

You know, before I would think, my cab driver hates me. Now I think my limo driver hates me.

Most detective story readers are an educated audience and know there are only a certain number of plots. The interest lies in what the writer does with them.

I remember, when they started remaking 'Star Wars,' the fury that surrounded that whole thing, and, 'How dare they?' But now, that's just a common denominator.

What people don't understand about Sarah Palin is that she is a rancher's wife. From Alberta down to Texas I've known women like that: good common sense, bright and vilified by city people.