Quentin Crisp

It's no good running a pig farm badly for 30 years while saying, 'Really, I was meant to be a ballet dancer.' By then, pigs will be your style.

There is no need to do any housework at all. After the first four years the dirt doesn't get any worse.

The British do not expect happiness. I had the impression, all the time that I lived there, that they do not want to be happy; they want to be right.

Acting is a masochistic form of exhibitionism. It is not quite the occupation of an adult.

At last we've seen the first installment of Joss Whedon's new web series, 'Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog,' and it's sweeter than we'd ever imagined.

I don't want to get into autobiographies; I don't want to talk about myself.