Quentin Crisp

There is no need to do any housework at all. After the first four years the dirt doesn't get any worse.

The British do not expect happiness. I had the impression, all the time that I lived there, that they do not want to be happy; they want to be right.

Health consists of having the same diseases as one's neighbors.

I wanted to be a male ballet dancer.

It's good to like yourself, and that only comes from hard work, from doing. But vanity is dangerous; it can trip you badly.

I wanted to be a male ballet dancer.