If you want to join the Republican party, they have to let you in. There's nothing they can do about it. I mean, if Republicans will take Al D'Amato, they'll take anybody. P. J. O'Rourke amatojoinparty Change image and share on social
Public schools helped create the idea of America and inculcate Americans with a few rudiments of knowledge. To judge by that very American item, the Internet, a few rudiments is all anyone cares to have. P. J. O'Rourke americaamericancare share on social
Health care's not about insurance! Health care's about getting treatment. P. J. O'Rourke carehealthinsurance Change image and share on social
By the end of the 1950s, American cars were so reliable that their reliability went without saying even in car ads. Thousands of them bear testimony to this today, still running on the roads of Cuba though fueled with nationalized Venezuelan gasoline and maintained with spit and haywire. P. J. O'Rourke 1950samericanbear share on social
Children live in the only successful Marxist state ever created: the family. 'From each according to his ability, to each according to his need' is the family's practice as well as its theory. Even with today's scattershot patterns of marriage and parenting, a family is collectivist to a more than North Korean degree. P. J. O'Rourke abilitychildcollectivist share on social
Kuwait City is not gorgeous, actually, but it's got a kind of Epcot Center thing going for it. It's not pretty. But it's striking, I'll give it that. It's not as over-the-top as Abu Dhabi or Dubai. But nearly. P. J. O'Rourke abucentercity share on social
All change is bad. But sometimes it has to be done. P. J. O'Rourke badchange Change image and share on social
Never fight an inanimate object. P. J. O'Rourke fightinanimateobject Change image and share on social
Don't send funny greeting cards on birthdays or at Christmas. Save them for funerals, when their cheery effect is needed. P. J. O'Rourke birthdaycardcheery Change image and share on social
Preachers at black churches are the last people left in the English-speaking world who know the schemes and tropes of classical rhetoric: parallelism, antithesis, epistrophe, synecdoche, metonymy, periphrasis, litotes - the whole bag of tricks. P. J. O'Rourke antithesisbagblack share on social