P. G. Wodehouse

There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.

Memories are like mulligatawny soup in a cheap restaurant. It is best not to stir them.

The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.

If I make a move, like raise my eyebrows, some critic says I'm doing Nicholson. What am I supposed to do, cut off my eyebrows?

I think of Oprah as a Mother Joseph wannabe, a daytime oracle rewarding the good and punishing the bad.

As a writer, I try to do different things, but I'm not going to become a darker artist or turn into Radiohead overnight. I don't think that's my style.