Noel Coward

Just say the lines and don't trip over the furniture.

It's discouraging to think how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit.

Squash - that's not exercise, it's flagellation.

He and I were about as compatible as a rat and a boa constrictor.

The mere process of growing old together will make the slightest acquaintance seem a bosom friend.

Where I get bored is when I show up for a shoot and they want me to wear a feather boa. Too obvious a thing for a poof on the telly to do.