Did you know that, pound for pound, the moose is the leanest ruminant on Earth? It's true. Moose are very in tune with their natural surroundings. Mallory Ortberg earthleanestmoose Change image and share on social
I grew up in a home where reading was a big deal. Mallory Ortberg bigdealgrow Change image and share on social
There's no specific mission statement for the 'Toast.' Mallory Ortberg missionspecificstatement Change image and share on social
When I was twenty years old, I had gum grafts put in. Mallory Ortberg graftgumput Change image and share on social
Humor is always more interesting when it comes from someone who's had more than, like, five experiences. Mallory Ortberg experiencehumorinterest Change image and share on social
After I do my first writing of the day, I will generally look at Twitter and Google News - and that's my big media secret. I look at Twitter and I look at Google because they pull all the headlines from other websites. Mallory Ortberg bigdaygenerally share on social
When I think of Emily Dickinson, there's not one particular poem of hers that jumps out, but I do have a very vivid image of an ill woman with giant eyes who wants to write about the sun exploding. Mallory Ortberg dickinsonemilyexplode Change image and share on social
It's so, so awful for my entire body and my spine and my hands, and I have a perfectly good desk to write at, but I don't care. I love writing in bed. Mallory Ortberg awfulbedbody Change image and share on social
Ghost! I miss him! Is that weird? I miss him even though I invented him. I feel a lot of tenderness toward him. I don't write a lot of stuff that is sad or that is tender and affectionate, so that has a very special place in my heart. Mallory Ortberg affectionatefeelghost share on social
I have fun going on Twitter and the Internet. I feel safe and comfortable, and I wish everyone could feel that way. Mallory Ortberg comfortablefeelfun Change image and share on social
