Top 39 Quotes by Mallory Ortberg

About Mallory Ortberg

These are some quotes by American author Mallory Ortberg Writer, who was born on November 28, 1986.

I'm really not a journalist, and I don't do a ton of newsy pieces. Occasionally I'll write about something that's going on recently, but I really don't do a ton of stuff that's tied to current events.

I'm really not a journalist, and I don't do a ton of newsy pieces. Occasionally I'll write about something that's going on recently, but I really don't do a ton of stuff that's tied to current events.

Mallory Ortberg

I read my first P.G. Wodehouse when I was 12.

I read my first P.G. Wodehouse when I was 12.

Mallory Ortberg

I think female solitude is a mental condition as well as a physical state. You can be married and a spinster. I think spinster is an identity every woman can claim, if she will... I feel like a lot of women, or a lot of feminists, joke about taking to the sea or living alone in a cottage as this kind of fun freedom.

Mallory Ortberg

I spent the first 22 years of my life absorbing everything, like a big disgusting cell, and now I'm disgorging it with jokes added out into the world. That's a really gross metaphor.

I spent the first 22 years of my life absorbing everything, like a big disgusting cell, and now I'm disgorging it with jokes added out into the world. That's a really gross metaphor.

Mallory Ortberg

I attended an evangelical Christian university on the outskirts of suburban Los Angeles and by the time of my graduation was neither evangelical nor Christian.

I attended an evangelical Christian university on the outskirts of suburban Los Angeles and by the time of my graduation was neither evangelical nor Christian.

Mallory Ortberg

Everyone wants to be liked; everyone wants approval. No one likes being ignored.

Everyone wants to be liked; everyone wants approval. No one likes being ignored.

Mallory Ortberg

I have a lot of faith in the power of joking to make something thoughtful.

I have a lot of faith in the power of joking to make something thoughtful.

Mallory Ortberg

Humor is always more interesting when it comes from someone who's had more than, like, five experiences.

Humor is always more interesting when it comes from someone who's had more than, like, five experiences.

Mallory Ortberg

The most successful Subway customers, of course, are the ones who can't keep their hands off their sandwich. Join your artist in the sandwich assembling process. That sneeze guard is a suggestion. That sneeze guard is trying to intimidate you into staying on the customer's side of the partition.

Mallory Ortberg

I grew up in a home where reading was a big deal.

I grew up in a home where reading was a big deal.

Mallory Ortberg

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