Eighty per cent of my output is 'Mallory clowns on the Western canon,' and I'm happy to be that person. Download Download Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Rotate quotes canon cent clown
My credentials, briefly: I no longer go to church or believe in God, but I can still name every one of the fruits of the Spirit and reeled for days upon hearing the announcement that Audio Adrenaline was reunited with one of the singers from DC Talk. Mallory Ortberg adrenalineannouncementaudio share on social
After I do my first writing of the day, I will generally look at Twitter and Google News - and that's my big media secret. I look at Twitter and I look at Google because they pull all the headlines from other websites. Mallory Ortberg bigdaygenerally share on social
With a few exceptions, birds are not to be trusted; it is not normal to have such soft, vulnerable bodies bookended with slashing beaks and razor-sharp claws. It is as unnatural as an armed marshmallow. Mallory Ortberg armbeakbird share on social
I saw someone the other day with yellow on their eyelids, and it looked so fresh. But I thought if I did that I'd look like a clown. So I went and I bought some yellow eye shadow from M.A.C. and I noticed that when you mix it with water it works better. So I tried it, and I looked like Big Bird. I will never do that again. Kelly Rowland bigbirdbuy share on social
Hollywood is a place where they'll pay you a thousand dollars for a kiss and fifty cents for your soul. Marilyn Monroe centdollarfifty Change image and share on social
Many of Judy Blume's books - which I devoured when I was growing up and where I found characters that were believable because they were a lot like me - caused considerable consternation when they were first published, but now they're widely accepted as an essential part of the children's literary canon. Jeff Kinney acceptbelievableblume share on social