Lily Tomlin

What is reality, anyway? Just a collective hunch.

Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse.

Why is it that when we talk to God we're said to be praying but when God talks to us we're schizophrenic?

I am convinced that the reason so many fans leave Dodger Stadium after the seventh inning is that they become bored.

A myth is a lie that conceals or reveals a truth. But if it reveals even a strand of history or truth, that's what gets my adrenaline going.

It's good to like yourself, and that only comes from hard work, from doing. But vanity is dangerous; it can trip you badly.