Lewis Black

There's no such thing as soy milk. It's soy juice.

All the candy corn that was ever made was made in 1911.

Parenting isn't just parenting your own child.

One thing I love most about New York is the variety of amazing foods you can eat. My all-time favorite is the Chicken Parmigianino at Jean Georges.

If you're not having a good time, find something else that gives you some joy in life.

I'm a big action junkie. I grew up on the '80s action movies - the bad ones and the good ones.