Lenny Bruce

I'll die young, but it's like kissing God.

The liberals can understand everything but people who don't understand them.

The only honest art form is laughter, comedy. You can't fake it... try to fake three laughs in an hour - ha ha ha ha ha - they'll take you away, man. You can't.

Well, I actually wrote her a letter a couple of days ago congratulating her. The tone I tried to convey in the letter is, look, you are a part of a great American historical process.

You have the Roman Catholic Church, the Church of England, the Presbyterians, the Wesleyans, represented in each school, and they are each to take alternate days.

I have thrown chairs, but only during football matches. Generally, I am well-behaved. I do not like to make people angry.