Laurence J. Peter

An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today.

The man who says he is willing to meet you halfway is usually a poor judge of distance.

Expert: a man who makes three correct guesses consecutively.

I've never gotten thick skin. If you close yourself off and you get this protective armor, there is a price you pay with that - of not feeling. And feeling is important when you are a songwriter.

It is the eye of ignorance that assigns a fixed and unchangeable color to every object; beware of this stumbling block.

In liberal logic, if life is unfair then the answer is to turn more tax money over to politicians, to spend in ways that will increase their chances of getting reelected.