Joan Rivers

Forty for you, sixty for me. And equal partners we will be.

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is God's gift, that's why we call it the present.

Nobody wants to hear that you met Harry Truman... I met Harry Truman... But you know what I mean? Nobody's interested. They want to know you met Rihanna. And that kills me.

I was thinking of going to London drama schools or to New York, because France didn't accommodate the things I wanted to do in film.

It took me realizing that a broken heart has never actually killed anyone to find the courage to ask for what I want, in just about every situation. That was part of my own growing up.

I went to college because I didn't have anywhere else to go and it was a fabulous hang. And while I was there I was exposed to this world that I didn't know was possible.