It's funny how all of this has worked out - I wasn't popular in high school, but now every drunken guy in the United States wants to be my pal. They all want to buy me a shot, and pretty soon I'm throwing up. Jimmy Kimmel buydrunkenfunny share on social
There's no debate about the greenhouse effect, just like there's no debate about gravity. If someone throws a piano off the roof, I don't care what Sarah Palin tells you, get out of the way because it's coming down on your head. Jimmy Kimmel carecomedebate share on social
When I was on the radio, I used to be able to go a lot farther than I can now. You don't really remember until you're on the radio again, sometimes in your old radio station and sitting with the guys you used to work with and you go, 'Oh yeah, I can't say these things anymore. I'm handcuffed.' Jimmy Kimmel anymorefarguy share on social
Real emotion is good - or doing a good job of faking real emotion. Jimmy Kimmel emotionfakegood Change image and share on social
I have like fifteen televisions in my house. Jimmy Kimmel fifteenhousetelevision Change image and share on social
At the Emmys, you've got a bunch of people who are used to being on TV on TV. You don't have that at the Oscars. At the Oscars, you have people who are used to having 40 takes. Jimmy Kimmel bunchemmyshave Change image and share on social
The Republican National Convention is a great place to hear people talk about politics and values and all that sort of thing. But there's one thing brings me back year after year, and that's white people dancing. The RNC is the world's premier Caucasian amateur dance festival. Jimmy Kimmel amateurbackbring share on social
I still love comic books. When you have a kid, that's an excuse to keep reading all the comic books. Jimmy Kimmel bookcomicexcuse Change image and share on social
Our politicians debate this, but our scientists don't. A huge majority of climate scientists say climate change is happening. They say we're causing it and we need to do something about it before it has a terrible effect on all of us. Jimmy Kimmel causechangeclimate share on social
I try hard not to repeat myself and not to do material other people are doing. We transcribe every other late-night show to make sure there's no similarity. Jimmy Kimmel hardlatemake Change image and share on social